[ soul-diagnosis ]

the never ending soul diagnosis towards Him; The Creator of All Souls.

Thursday, January 29, 2015

of empty & hearts




of empty & hearts

"Truly in the heart there is a sadness that cannot be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah and being TRUE to Him. And in it there is an emptiness that cannot be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him and always remembering Him. And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it,

it would NOT fill this emptiness." 

(Ibn Qaiyyim)

doctor to mom?




WHEN I announced my decision to resign from my position as a pediatrician in a major Saudi hospital in order to embrace motherhood full-time, the reaction I received from my fellow female colleagues came as quite a surprise to me.
“Are you crazy?!”
“This is the worse decision you will ever make!”
“What will you do at home, you’ll be SO bored and isolated!”
“You’ll become severely depressed within a year!”
At first the reaction of these apparent well-wishers confounded me. What were these women so afraid of?
What made them view with such fear and disdain their God-given role as a mother, wife, educator, and nurturer? As this was the first time I would not be working or studying outside the home–I had been raised in a society which often looks down upon stay-at-home mothers—their questioning began to cast doubts in my mind. Could they be right? Was I making a mistake that I would later regret? Would my life become intellectually and emotionally dull?  Would I become a slave to the monotony of changing diapers, cooking, and cleaning?
Allah has created men and women with their own unique qualities which makes them perfectly suited to their roles in the family and in the society. A woman’s naturally caring, nurturing, and patient nature makes her the ideal primary caregiver. Her creativity and communication skills make her the best educator, advisor and confidant for her children. Yes, these roles may be filled by the father or an outside caregiver, but they will never match up to the natural capabilities of the mother.
Islam represents “the middle way” in all matters, as it is the religion of moderation and balance.
I’m not arguing that women should never under any circumstances work outside the home. In fact any functioning society requires women to fulfill certain positions outside the home, such as being teachers, doctors, and midwives. Some women may be in a situation of such desperate financial need that they may not have the luxury to stay at home. Still others may not be blessed with children, or may have older children, and these women may want to use their skills in order to benefit the society by working outside the home in women-appropriate careers.
However, I feel the danger arises when a woman prioritizes her career over the needs of her family at home, when she becomes a slave to the never-ending pursuit of “climbing the corporate ladder.” If her responsibilities as a mother and wife are put second to her career, the house often becomes a sterile place to which a fragmented group of people return at the end of their day, rather than a warm, inviting oasis filled with love, laughter, and cohesion. Her work outside the home can never give her the fulfillment and satisfaction which can only be found in the home.
Now that I have been an official “full-time” wife and mother for almost 2 years, I can honestly say that I have enjoyed every second of it and don’t have a single regret. I have not become bored, depressed, or isolated. Instead, I feel more fulfilled and content then I ever have in my entire life. I feel younger, more energetic, and healthier. My children are happier and more secure, and their behavior has even improved after being taken out of the discipline-free environment often provided by housemaids. When I hear my daughter reciting a surah from Qur’an that I just taught her; when I see her writing her name for the first time; when I receive a kiss from my baby boy or witness his first steps; or when I prepare a delicious, healthy meal for my family, it gives me a feeling of contentment I have never experienced in my work outside the home.
Although my work as a pediatrician was often rewarding, it can’t compare to the gratification I gain from loving and caring for my own children. The more time I spend at home with my children, the more I realize how much they really need me and how much they must have missed me when I was working outside the home.
When I remember my over-worked, sleep-deprived, “super-mom” colleagues who insisted I was making a huge mistake, I feel sorry for them. They have been conditioned to believe that the role of a mother and housewife is somehow “not enough.” That the tasks of raising, educating, and nurturing our children can be achieved equally well by a nanny or day-care center. That the mother’s role in transforming the home into a fountain of tranquility and comfort is expendable.
As mothers we must remember that our responsibilities towards our children are not limited to feeding and cleaning. What is even more perplexing is that my pediatrician colleagues should understand more than anyone the importance of the mother in the emotional and psychological development of children.
Most current models of development focus on the influence of the environment in which the child is reared. The first three years is the most critical time in a child’s development; he or she will learn more in the first year than in any other period of life. The first year of a child’s life has been identified as
a time when ‘basic trust’ was established through the mother’s consistent responsiveness to her child’s needs. In the 1950’s, studies of infants in hospitals and foundling homes documented the devastating effects of maternal deprivation and pointed to the importance of attachment. Attachment refers to a biologically determined tendency of a young child to seek proximity with the parent during times of stress and also to the relationship that allows securely attached children to use their parents to reestablish a sense of well-being after a stressful experience. Insecure attachment may be predictive of later behavior and learning problems.[1]
I’m sure that all mothers have witnessed this in their child: He falls and bumps his head then runs to mama for a few hugs and kisses, and after that he is on his way. He needs this reassurance in order to develop into a strong, confident adult.
Another invaluable benefit of the mother’s presence is the emotional bond she forms with her child through breastfeeding. Breast milk has even been found to have natural analgesic (pain relieving) properties and is used in hospitals as a pain-reliever for infants during medical procedures. The other numerous benefits of breastfeeding (for both the child and mother), both physically and emotionally, are indisputable.
Ask yourself sisters, Is it really worth it?
The tears of your young child when you leave her at daycare or with a helper to go to work.  The inevitable friction that will arise between you and your husband over the responsibilities of the housework. Can a daycare center really love and care for your child the way you can?
We are so concerned about our children getting into the most prestigious schools, yet we neglect the most important school they will ever attend: the home.
My own mother stayed home with us when we were young, devoting all her time, energy, and love to us. I feel this was one of the greatest gifts she could have given us.
On the Day of Judgment, when you are standing before Allah, you will not be questioned about your latest promotion or your 401K plan. But you WILL be questioned about your responsibilities to your husband and children. Your children are a trust from Allah.
Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said: “Each one of you is a shepherd. And each of you will be asked about your flock. A ruler also is a shepherd and he will be asked about his flock. And every man is a shepherd to his family. And every woman is the custodian of her husband’s house and his children. Thus each one of you is a shepherd and each one will be asked about his flock.” [Sahih Bukhari and Muslim]
Then ask yourself sisters,  Doesn’t your child need a full-time mother more than the world needs another doctor or lawyer?


Laura Gibb is an American pediatrician currently living in Riyadh.
[1] Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics, 17th edition, 2004, page 23-24.

jalan pulang


entah untuk kali ke berapa aku baca artikel ni. countless. tiap kalinya, dalam nada yang berbeza, dengan rasa yang berbeza. 

moga tersisa sesuatu pada hati kamu juga.  










jalan pulang kepada Tuhan terlalu luas

Antara keistimewaan Islam yang agung ini adalah jalan pulang ke pangkuan agama ini amat luas terbuka dan tidak membebankan. Peluang seorang insan kembali ke pangkuan keampunan dan keredaan Allah tidak pernah disekat oleh sebarang jarak waktu, latar diri, keturunan, atau harta.
Sesiapa yang ingin pulang ke pangkuan Allah tidak pernah dihalang oleh agama ini disebabkan jenis dosanya atau keturunan, usianya yang lanjut, atau apa sahaja.
Seseorang yang ingin kembali kepada Allah diterima oleh kerahmatan-Nya dengan syarat insan tersebut menyesali kesilapannya, benar-benar memohon keampunan dan berazam tidak mengulangi kesalahan lalu.
Jika kesalahan itu sesama insan lain, dia memohon maaf dari yang dizalimi. Jika tidak mampu, bimbang mudarat yang lebih besar jika permohonan maaf dibuat, serahkan sahaja urusannya itu kepada Allah dan Allah Maha Mengetahui kadar kemampuan hamba-hamba-Nya.
Firman Allah dalam surah Ali ‘Imran 135-136:
(maksudnya) Dan mereka yang apabila melakukan perbuatan keji, atau menganiaya diri sendiri, mereka ingat kepada Allah lalu memohon ampun dosa-dosa mereka – dan sememangnya tidak ada yang mengampunkan dosa-dosa melainkan Allah – dan mereka juga tidak meneruskan (perbuatan buruk) yang mereka telah lakukan itu, sedang mereka mengetahui (akan salahnya dan akibatnya). Orang- orang yang demikian sifatnya, balasannya adalah keampunan dari Tuhan mereka, dan syurga-syurga yang mengalir di bawahnya beberapa sungai, mereka kekal di dalamnya; dan yang demikian itulah sebaik-baik balasan (bagi) orang-orang yang beramal.
Islam bukan seperti sesetengah ajaran yang menyuruh seseorang yang berdosa membuat pengakuan di hadapan orang agama, atau melakukan upacara yang menyeksa diri demi penghapusan dosa seperti melukakan diri atau berjalan atas bara api atau membuat bayaran penebusan.
Demikian perbuatan sesetengah pihak mencari rezeki dengan mengambil upah untuk pelupusan dosa solat atau puasa atau ibadah yang lain, bukan dari ajaran Islam. Islam tidak pernah mengenal itu semua. Seperti Islam tidak pernah menerima sama sekalipun perbuatan sesetengah agama lain yang mengeluarkan surat berbayar untuk penghapusan dosa, demikian Islam tidak dapat menerima perbuatan penganutnya jika melakukan hal yang sama dengan mengeluarkan borang pahala yang dijual sempena Ramadan atau selainnya.
Keampunan dan rahmat Allah bukan dijual di jalanan. Ia sangat berkaitan dengan keluhuran jiwa yang ikhlas ingin kembali kepada Allah Yang Maha Pengampun. Jika keampunan hanyalah bayaran yang dibayar kepada pihak tertentu, tentulah semua orang kaya tempatnya di syurga.
Sementara si miskin yang tidak mampu membayar kepada golongan agama tiadalah habuan keampunan untuknya. Maka tidaklah perlu lagi seseorang berpegang dengan agama, cukuplah dengan membanyakkan ongkos, maka selamatlah dia di sisi Tuhan. Aduhai, tentu tidak demikian.
Firman Allah (maksudnya) Hari yang padanya harta benda dan anak-pinak tidak dapat memberikan manfaat sesuatu apapun. Kecuali orang yang datang menghadap Allah dengan hati yang sejahtera. Dan (pada hari itu) didekatkan syurga bagi orang- orang yang bertakwa. Dan diperlihatkan neraka jelas nyata kepada orang-orang yang sesat. (surah al-Syu’ara 88-91).
Seseorang yang berdosa pula, tidak disuruh mendedahkan dosanya kepada orang lain sekalipun di hadapan ulama atau siapapun di kalangan manusia. Bahkan dia disuruh bertaubat antara dia dengan Allah dan menutup keburukan dirinya daripada orang lain.
Nabi s.a.w. bersabda: Sesiapa yang menutup (keburukan) seorang Muslim, Allah tutup (keburukannya) di dunia dan akhirat. (Riwayat Muslim).
Termasuk dalam perkataan Muslim itu diri insan yang berdosa itu sendiri, dia juga tentu seorang Muslim. Maka dia wajib menutup keaiban dirinya. Maka dalam Islam tidak ada ‘pengakuan dosa di hadapan paderi’. Sesiapa sahaja yang berasa berdosa dan ingin kembali kepada Allah, maka dia bertaubat di mana sahaja dia berada.
Sabda Nabi: Sesungguhnya Allah menerima taubat seorang hamba selagi nyawa belum sampai ke halkumnya. (Riwayat al- Tirmizi, dinilai hasan oleh al-Albani).
Aduhai luasnya rahmat Allah dalam agama ini. Bahkan dalam sebuah hadis kudsi,
Allah berfirman: Wahai anak-anak Adam, selagi mana engkau memohon dan mengharapkan dari-Ku, Aku ampunkan engkau walau apapun dosamu, Aku tidak peduli. Wahai anak-anak Adam, jika dosamu sampai ke puncak langit, lalu engkau pohon keampunan dari-Ku, Aku ampunkan engkau, aku tidak peduli. Wahai anak-anak Adam, engkau jika datang kepada-Ku dengan dosa yang hampir memenuhi bumi, namun engkau menemui-Ku tanpa mensyirikkan Daku dengan sesuatu, nescaya aku datang kepadamu dengan penuh keampunan. (Riwayat al-Tirmizi, dinilai hasan oleh al-Albani).
Bahkan kita dilarang kecewa dengan hidup disebabkan dosa yang lalu. Sebaliknya, disuruh agar sentiasa memohon keampunan daripada Allah dan jangan kecewa dari rahmat-Nya.
Firman Allah dengan penuh syahdu dalam surah al-Zumar ayat 53: (maksudnya), Katakanlah: Wahai hamba- hamba-Ku yang telah melampaui batas terhadap diri mereka sendiri (dengan perbuatan maksiat), janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah, kerana sesungguhnya Allah mengampunkan segala dosa; sesungguhnya Dialah jua Yang Maha Pengampun, lagi Maha Mengasihani.
Al-Imam Ibn Kathir (meninggal 774H) ketika mentafsirkan ayat ini menyebut: “Ayat yang mulia ini adalah panggilan untuk semua pembuat dosa dari kalangan yang kufur dan selain mereka agar bertaubat dan kembali kepada Allah. Ayat ini juga adalah pemberitahuan Allah Yang Maha Berkat Lagi Maha Tinggi bahawa Dia mengampunkan segala dosa untuk sesiapa yang bertaubat dan meninggalkannya, walau bagaimana besar dan banyak sekalipun dosa tersebut. Sekalipun bagaikan buih di lautan”. (Tafsir al-Quran al-‘Azim, 4/74, Beirut: Mussasah al-Rayyan).
Maka tidak ada kecewa bagi insan yang berdosa. Sekalipun kadangkala ada dosa yang tidak dapat dimaafkan oleh perasaan insan lain, namun Allah tidak pernah menutup pintunya selagi insan yang berdosa itu insaf, benar-benar kembali kepada-Nya.
Saya bicarakan tajuk ini, sesuai dengan suasana puasa. Juga agar perbincangan agama, janganlah menyebabkan manusia ini kecewa dengan diri mereka dalam mencari jalan pulang ke pangkuan Tuhan.
Agama ini begitu lunak. Pintu untuk mendekati Tuhan tidak pernah hanya dikhususkan untuk orang tertentu semata. Bahkan sesiapa sahaja yang menerima Islam ini dan berusaha mendekatkan diri dengan jalan Rasulullah maka dia akan sampai ke dalam rahmat Allah.
Tiada perbezaan antara mufti, ustaz, imam dan orang biasa. Tuhan tidak pernah menilai insan dengan gelaran-gelaran yang diberikan oleh sesama manusia. Dia melihat keluhuran jiwa dan kesahihan amalan. Entah berapa ramai orang biasa lebih mulia di sisi Tuhan dibandingkan mereka yang bersandar dengan berbagai-bagai gelaran dan pangkat. Jalan pulang ke pangkuan Tuhan tidak pernah mendiskriminasikan manusia.
Kadangkala amat menakutkan kita mendengar ucapan sesetengah orang. Saya pernah mendengar seseorang menyebut “dosa- dosa si polan tidak akan diampunkan Allah.” Ringan perkataan itu di lidah kita, amat berat kesalahannya di sisi Allah.
Sejak bilakah pula kita menjadikan wakil Tuhan dalam memutuskan rahmat atau kelaknatan di kalangan hamba-hamba-Nya. Kita menolak manusia ingin kembali dataran keampunan Allah hanya kerana emosi kita, sedangkan Allah sendiri mengisytiharkan keluasan rahmat-Nya untuk semua.
Marilah kita berkempen untuk manusia mendapatkan rahmat keampunan Allah ini. Bukan untuk orang masjid dan surau sahaja, tetapi juga semua muda-mudi di jalanan, artis di pentas, pemimpin di gelanggang politik dan seterusnya. Jangan menghukum seseorang itu sebagai tidak berpeluang menerima rahmat Allah sedangkan roh masih di jasadnya dan hukuman Allah belum pun kita tahu.
Nabi bersabda: Jika seseorang berkata: Binasalah manusia, maka dialah yang paling binasa. (Riwayat Muslim).
Hadis ini bermaksud apabila seseorang berkata dengan tujuan merendahkan orang lain dan membanggakan dirinya seakan orang lain tidak mendapat kerahmatan, maka dialah akan dibinasakan Allah. Dakwah agama hendaklah merentasi sempadan-sempadan yang dibikin oleh kita. Rahmat Allah mestilah disebarkan ke semua daerah hidup yang pelbagai. Sama ada yang berada di gelanggang sukan, di pentas filem, di medan politik atau apa sahaja.
Janganlah perbincangan agama hanya menggambarkan seakan semua manusia akan memasuki neraka semata, lalu kita lupa Allah ialah Tuhan Yang Maha Rahmat. Ungkapan-ungkapan agama ini adalah ungkapan memberikan harapan, bukan menimbulkan kekecewaan.
Sehingga dalam hadis Nabi bersabda: Seorang telah melakukan satu dosa, lalu dia berkata: Wahai Tuhanku ampunilah dosaku. Lalu Allah azza wa jalla berfirman: Hamba-Ku melakukan dosa dan dia mengetahui bahawa baginya Tuhan yang boleh mengampun dan menghukumnya – dalam riwayat yang lain ditambah: Aku ampunkan dosanya. Kemudian dia kembali melakukan dosa yang lain, dia berkata: Wahai Tuhanku aku telah melakukan dosa ampunilah dosaku. Lalu Allah berfirman: Hamba-Ku melakukan dan dia mengetahui bahawa baginya Tuhan yang boleh mengampun dan menghukumnya-dalam riwayat yang lain ditambah: Aku ampunkan dosanya. Lalu dia melakukan dosa sekali lagi, dia berkata: Wahai Tuhanku aku telah melakukan dosa ampunilah dosaku. Lalu Allah berfirman: Hamba-Ku melakukan dan dia mengetahui bahawa baginya tuhan yang boleh mengampun dan menghukumnya, maka aku ampunkan hamba-Ku in, buatlah apa yang kau mahu Aku ampunkan engkau. (Riwayat al-Bukhari dan Muslim).
Hadis ini bukanlah menggalakkan manusia melakukan dosa, tetapi menceritakan hal seorang hamba yang bertaubat bersungguh-sungguh namun gagal mengawal dirinya lalu tetap terjatuh ke dalam dosa. Setiap kali berdosa, dia ikhlas memohon keampunan dan dia tetap diampun oleh Allah s.w.t.
Hadis ini memberikan semangat kepada mereka yang telah bersalah berulang kali untuk terus bertaubat bukan berputus asa dan terus mengikut jejak langkah syaitan. Walaupun barangkali orang lain akan menyebut kepadanya “tidak guna kau bertaubat, sudah berapa kali kau tetap gagal kekal atas taubatmu”, namun Allah tidak berkata demikian. Dia Yang Maha Pengampun tetap membuka pintu selagi hamba-Nya itu jujur dan ikhlas merintih kepada-Nya.
Jika Allah menutup pintu, maka kekecewaan akan meliputi jiwa hamba yang seperti ini dan akhirnya dia akan terus tenggelam dalam kejahatan. Namun dengan dibuka seperti ini, insan akan terus berusaha kembali kepada Allah setiap kali tergelincir.
Saya amat hairan, ada agama tertentu yang dikatakan mempengaruhi emosi sesetengah anak-anak muda kita disebabkan unsur kasih sayang dan rahmat berkenaan yang ditonjolkan dalam agama. Seakan anak-anak muda kita tidak pernah mendengar tentang keluasan rahmat dan keampunan Allah dalam Islam ini. Lalu mereka pun kagum dengan agama lain dan melupai agama sendiri yang diturunkan Allah ini.
Adakah kerana mereka tidak mempelajari ajaran Islam yang betul? Ataupun kempen kita kepada Islam kurang menonjolkan unsur-unsur kerahmatan agama ini?
Hendaklah kita sedar, dalam dakwah baginda Nabi bukan hanya diceritakan balasan neraka, namun diceritakan juga kenikmatan syurga. Bukan hanya tentang kemurkaan Allah kepada yang menderhakai-Nya tetapi juga rahmat-Nya bagi yang kembali kepada kepada-Nya.
Firman Allah dalam surah al-Hijr 49-50: (maksudnya) Khabarkanlah kepada hamba-hamba-Ku (Wahai Muhammad), bahawa Akulah Yang Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Mengasihani (bagi mereka yang bertaubat dan beramal soleh). Dan bahawa azab-Ku, adalah azab yang tidak terperi sakitnya, (bagi mereka yang tetap dalam kederhakaan).
Di suasana Ramadan ini, semoga taubat mempunyai ruang yang besar dalam hidup kita. Manusia disuruh takut melakukan dosa. Namun jangan kecewa jika tersilap. Di samping insan juga hendaklah selalu beringat, bahawa dosa yang terlampau setelah diberi peringatan, boleh menghilangkan ingatan insan untuk kembali kepada Tuhan.
Firman Allah dalam surah al-Baqarah ayat 6-7: (maksudnya) Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang ingkar itu, sama sahaja kepada mereka: Sama ada engkau beri amaran kepadanya atau engkau tidak beri amaran, mereka tidak akan beriman. (Dengan sebab keingkaran mereka), Allah mematerikan atas hati mereka, pendengaran mereka, dan pada penglihatan mereka ada penutupnya; dan bagi mereka pula disediakan azab seksa yang amat besar.
written by Dr Mohd Asri Zainul Abidin .

- - -

first time saya baca artikel ni kan menitik nitik air mata depan monitor komputer di computer centre ( CC ) kolej akasia tahun 2008 . so dearies , write . jott down . anything to inspire and aspire people . ( :
sebelum kita meninggalkan dunia fana ini , at least kita ada meninggalkan sesuatu buat bekalan akhirat sana . selagi ada orang yang baca , manfaat yang dia dapat daripada hasil tulisan kita tu akan mengalir menjadi saham pahala yang berterusan tidak pernah kering untuk kita . best kan ( :

break free


I close my eyes and dream quietly of breaking free.
I dream of breaking every single chain that has ever held me.
I cut them.
I throw glass cups against the wall.
Every vase shatters, and then I’m set free.
Free.
I will own love.
Love will never own me.
To break free is the only object of life.
Every up.
Every down.
Every turn.
Every stab.
Every pleasure.
Every pain.
Every loss.
Every gain.
Every broken chain.
Was just to allow your entire heart,
mind,
soul
and being
to realize la illah illah Allah.
Tell this imprisoned soul that it will never be owned. Nothing will ever own you.
But God.


Author : unknown

tak tahu












.
.
.

.

.

.

.

jangan rosak banyak sangat...
aku tak tahu nak baiki macam mana. 
aku tak tahu.



but i dont want forgiveness


Some years ago, I was sitting with a friend of mine and she started telling me about her struggles with hijab after becoming Muslim. She had grown up Christian and accepted Islam while she was in college.

“For me, hijab was the hardest thing,” she said. “I just didn’t want to wear it. So I made every excuse I could. ‘It’s too hot.’ ‘I can’t breathe’.” She shook her head, remembering. “But the funny thing is, I didn’t realize I didn’t want to cover.
“Until one day I was talking to some sisters and I was making the same excuses. And the sisters started trying to convince me, but for everything they said, I had an answer. And we kept going back and forth. But then a sister said something that I really couldn’t respond to.” She paused. “‘Just makedu’aa. Pray that Allah makes it easy for you’.”
Her eyes grew distant, reflecting. “When she said that, I didn’t know what to say. In the back of my mind, I knew that if I asked Allah for help, I would wear hijab. And that’s when I knew I didn’t really want to cover.  I didn’t even ask Allah to help me. Because I didn’t want Him to.”
When I hear stories like these, I think of the depths of the human heart. I think of how we think we know ourselves and our intentions. But, really, we don’t.
For almost every one of us, there’s something we know we need to change but simply won’t. The issue may involve not wearing hijab, not praying regularly, watching inappropriate TV and movies, intermingling, having “boyfriends” or “girlfriends”... And for each, we have a convenient excuse, if we bother to make excuses at all.
But in Ramadan, a lot of unpleasant things come to surface because the devils are chained and the depths of our hearts are exposed.
Yet most of us still manage to wriggle out of obedience to Allah, and the excuses abound…
There’s no point in wearing hijab in Ramadan if I know I’m just going to take it off later…
I don’t want to be a hypocrite…
I know myself, and I’m not ready to change my life...
But in each excuse, there’s one key component that’s missing.
Allah.
I don’t mean His name is absent. For most of us, it’s actually Allah’s name we use to justify our wrong.
Allah is Forgiving. Allah knows my heart. Allah’s my judge…
Or our favorite…
When I change, I’ll do it for Allah, not because people asked me to…
Yet Allah says, “And make not Allah's (name) an excuse in your oaths against doing good, or acting rightly…” (2:224). 
When we’re not blaming Allah for our sins, we’re blaming our natural human weakness. And it’s true; humans are weak. But the truth is that this isn’t our chief shortcoming.
But human weakness is the chief shortcoming for those with high emaan.
Those with low emaan have as their chief shortcoming a diseased heart.
The strong believers constantly strive to do what’s right, but because of human weakness, they inevitably fall short. But their energy is spent striving against sin, not giving in to it.
The weakest believers don’t even bother striving; they’re quite comfortable in their life of sin. Their energy is spent defending their sin, not fighting against it.
I don’t want forgiveness. I don’t want to change. I like the wrong I’m doing…
This is what it really boils down to. Otherwise, we’d just make du’aa, and pray that Allah makes it easy for us to do what’s right, even if we fall short at times.
But it starts with wanting change. And that’s not an easy thing for the human heart, especially for those of us content with our low emaan and life of sin.
Yet…
All will be forgiven during the month of Ramadan, except those who do not want to be forgiven.
And who does not want to be forgiven?
Those who do not ask.
The month of Ramadan is, more than anything, a month of opportunity. It’s a time to set right things that are wrong. It’s a time to change course, even as you’ve no idea how you’ll walk that new path. It’s a time to ask for change, to beg for change, to cry for it—even if part of you doesn’t even want it.
And it’s okay if you have no idea how you’ll manage wearing hijab, praying regularly, shutting off that TV, or leaving alone those “cute” girls or guys.
It’s okay, because it’s not you you’re turning to for help.
It’s Allah.
And Allah is able to do all things.
Let us remember, too, that Allah is All-Forgiving. But, of course, to benefit from Allah’s Forgiveness, we first have to want it. And wanting forgiveness isn’t just saying we want it, or just uttering a prayer. It means we regret our sin. It means we hate our sin. And it means we take every step to avoid it.
And we never give up fighting against it.
That’s what it means to want Allah’s forgiveness.
That’s what it means to ask for it.
So it is upon each of us to closely examine our lives—and hearts—and ask ourselves a simple question.
Do you want forgiveness?
If our answer is yes, we know Who to turn to for help and guidance.
If our answer is no… well, there’s nothing for us to do except what we’ve always been doing.

by Umm Zakiyya