x-file exposure : part (I)

as promised before (in my facebook's status several days ago),
saya nak share apa yang saya dapat hari tu
14 Februari, di Marriage Conference, PICC Putrajaya. 
just because i attended the conference, so this sharing more to the absent one.
may you gain something beneficial from this simple sharing. (:

"shu shu bablina~", a nickname that being called by her husband.
"hi baby~", saying a laundryman to his wife.

hee. nice sharing by the speakers from all around the world. best. serius best. banyak sangat yang saya dapat. banyak persoalan yang berlegar-legar di minda terjawab. alhamdulillah. awal-awal tu saya tak berapa faham dengan tentative event. setelah bertanya dengan cik adik manis sukarelawan event, baru saya faham rupa-rupanya ada 5 program serentak berlangsung di tempat yang berbeza-beza tapi masih di bawah satu bumbung yang sama. peserta kena alert dengan masa. bagus saya rasa cara begini, sebab ia benar-benar melatih saya untuk belajar menilai dan membuat keputusan dengan cepat. saya sememangnya seorang yang agak bad decision maker. betul. even small matter thing. dulu, kalau nak pilih pembalut hadiah mana yang satu pun saya confuse tak tau nak pilih, jadi saya suka tanya adik-adik saya. suruh diaorang yang pilih. kalau ikut saya, saya amek dua-dua ja. satu guna, satu lagi simpan buat kegunaan masa depan. tak perlu beli dah. making a decision, actually is a quite tough task. for me. -__-" that's why, work in a team is a best solution. ikut suara majoriti. buat syura. musyawarah. 

ada juga la masa yang terbuang akibat keraguan saya nak pergi slot yang mana satu. semua best-best. semuanya saya suka nak join. huuu. ada 3 program utama jika exclude Happy Kidz Program yang memang untuk kanak-kanak dan Soul Seekers Program untuk siapa yang serius mencari soulmate di situ. selebihnya ialah Main Program kat perdana hall, Workshops Program kat satu special room ni and the other one which is Speakers Corner Program di hujung ruang corner. :) sekali je saya sempat join Speakers' Corner. sobs. sobs. yang Speakers' Corner ni lebih kepada QA session. oleh sebab, saya rasa saya datang untuk menimba ilmu bagi penuh..jadi saya kurangkan bab soal jawab. saya mahu mendengar dan mencatat lebih banyak. maka saya memilih untuk berulang-alik daripada Main Program ke Workshops Program. memandangkan saya tidak membawa wang saku yang banyak, saya tak dapat nak laburkan kewangan saya di booth-booth yang sangat meriah menjual banyak benda-benda best yang saya suka. hukhuk. tak mengapalah. dua kali je saya lalu jalan kat area booth jual beli tu. kena mujahadah lawan nafsu nak bershopping beli belah. haha. 

a marriage guider, Sh Yahya Ibrahim for his first slot 'Lonely Planet', he shared about chosing a spouse yang penuh of wadud (kasih sayang). after that, followed by Edris Khamissa on 'Happy Feet'. Menurut statistik,sebanyak 56% perceraian berlaku in every 10 minutes di Malaysia. hukhuk. so sad hearing that. it shows how bad our marriage institution in Malaysia. keruntuhan rumahtangga membawa impak negatif yang besar kepada masyarakat. broken-family background kebanyakan punca masalah sosial anak remaja masakini. huu. he shared abut 6A : accept, afirm, affection, attention, a love for Allah dan satu lagi A saya tak sempat nak tangkap. apa ntah..huu. all these 6As are needed in bring up a family full of mawaddah and rahmah. it is a must in order to nurture our child. he loved to joking around by saying "i like it~!" hahaha. :D

after that, there was a debate session. title 'Not too young to marry'. youngsters versus parents. haha. of course parents win. audience vote more on their opinions. then, Sh Abu Eesa Niamatullah shared about marriage essence. Islam and ihsan are two compulsary ingredients. so we need to add on a mawaddah as the ignition and rahmah to maintain the marriage. i love to quote his words..

" everyone has the capacity to forgive.."

" love is all about sacrifice.."

our local speakers were there too. Tuan Ahmad Fakhri and his beloved wife, Puan Jamilah. i went to their workshop on 'Love Is In The Air' slot. di situ saya berkesempatan untuk turut serta dalam sharing moment. heee. "What act of kindness have you experinced? Share". apa lagi, saya cuba beranikan diri mengangkat tangan dan bercakap. sudah bertahun lamanya tak pegang microphone. rasa agak kekok dan janggal sedikit. saya harap orang yang mendengar dapat la secebis manfaat daripada apa yang saya sempat cerita dalam masa 1, 2 minit tu. gagap pulak tu. nervous kejap. sebab international audience yang dengar. haha. then, Puan Jamilah told us the stories of Ummu Sulaim and her husband Abu Talhah. 

at the same place, Sh Omar Suleiman talk on 'How To Serve Allah Together'. apa yang penting sekali yang sheikh tekankan adalah tentang apa-apa saja yang happen in relationship which will against you in the Day of Judgement..just avoid it. jauhkan. elakkan. husband and wife should :

• serving other people together - charity, humanitarian volunteer
• tahajud together
• advice each other
• reading Quran together
• anything doing by thinking about - Allah & hereafter
• serve Allah through each other

" husband and wife shouldn't indimidate one another.."

" when children comes along the way, they do change the dynamic of relationship."

" get quicker to Allah.."

for the wife and mother issue (for the husband), wife needs her own space. and the space is crucial for her. keep trying to wake up for qiam. qiam is actually a gift from Him. don't forget to make istikharah all the time. pray to Allah. what is good for you, may Allah makes it easier. and what is bad for you, may Allah keeps away..far away from you. 

* * * * *

to be continued in part (II) inshaAllah.

see you next time. :)

include me in your doa, please. 

ps: takda gambar yang dapat diambil sebab kamera battery low. 
tertinggal wayar kabel changer kamera kat kedah. huuu. 
dapat tangkap tangkap guna handphone je. sobs. 
boleh skodeng tengok gambar kat facebook page MarriageQA.

mana mungkin tak tersenyum (ii)

sebelum teruskan dengan list yang berikutnya, saja saya nak explain jap apa yang ada saya tulis dalam part (i). sebab aritu macam dah penat nak taip kan, jadi stop takat yang termampu. tentang yang family tu..maybe there are something like this sparkle in your head..

untunglaa~ background family kau okay je suma..kalau yang dari family yang porak peranda macam mana? 

untunglaa~ family kau treat kau baik je. takda kena marah dahsyat2 ke, kena pukul ke..boleh la cakap tu.

untunglaa~ adik beradik kau takda la teruk mana pun. cuba tengok keluarga lain luar sana, macam-macam jadi..sama-sama adik beradik bunuh-bunuh sebab rebut harta segala bagai..kau cerita pasal family yang bagus je boleh la nak sayang sana sini.

untunglaa~ mak ayah kau faham nak didik anak-anak macam mana. at least dorang ada kesedaran agama nak bimbing anak-anak..abes tu, macam mana dengan parents yang tak amek hirau langsung tentang semua tu..

untunglaa..bla..bla..

etc

etc

dan apa-apa ajalah yang "senada" dengannya~

somehow, the word "untunglaa" yang jadi trend sekarang ni sounds really annoying. seriously. -__-" 

ok, back to main topic. sebenarnya, dats the point! apa yang saya nak sampaikan itulah..

the list goes on with friend. 

2) kawan

beberapa hari yang lalu,

akhirnya.. bumi ini dijejak kembali,

ahhh..nak tak nak, kena kuatkan hati,

anak-anak tangga dinaiki,

kamar pintu dibuka,

beg kotak ungu terlihat di atas meja,

"happy belated birthday!" tertulis di atas kad kuning,

melihatnya, mana mungkin tak tersenyum.

"hai librarian~!"

ehhh? kenapakah?

cis, geng ahli rumah yang suka menyakat mula bersuara dari arah belakang,

"ehh bukan study pun kat library, buat PBL (Problem Based Learning) la!"

mereka terkekeh-kekeh ketawa,

kita sama kasus (case) kan. buat apa yang WD (working diagnosis) & DD (differential diagnosis)?

"tadi kat library tak ada eh?" sambil tersengih nakal. menyakat lagi.

cis sekali lagi, kurang asam. kena sakat lagi. ahli rumah sorang ni la~
cari-cari meja makan, haa ada pun..korang, nak dok sini, 
tak leh, tak leh..

tapi dengan sakat-sakat mereka, hati terhibur,

menceriakan hari-hari dalam hidup, mana mungkin tak tersenyum.

suasana hening di dalam kelas,

lecturer sedang mengajar, serius mukanya,

semua yang mendengar buat-buat paham,

tiba-tiba, kedengaran bunyi hanset bergema,

riang ria bunyi ringtone dimatikan dengan tenang oleh pelajar tersebut,

"relax je dia matikan handphone. kalau opah..." ayatnya disambung dengan ketawa kecil,

haha. iya iya, kalau saya gelabah macam apa je. tak termati-mati bunyi handphone tu,

cari hanset tak jumpa-jumpa, kalut sangat dok selongkor beg. haihh.

tapi teringat kisah-kisah semalam yang ntah apa-apa tu pun, geli hati,
tersenyum sendiri. 

"plis dont hurt urself like dat. it seems unbearable. paralyse jiwa nnti. sahabat, kuat kuat lagi plis. if u keep hurt urself like dat, it hurts me too. Allah bagi ujian pada titik terkuat kamu. percayalah. ya, itu pinjaman terindah. xkat sni, akhirat kan ada." 

(drawing above credited to a friend of mine; Masmuna Solleh)

"xpe..insyaAllah, mesti ada si warna warni cun sedang tggu nak jelmakan diri di dada langit hidup awak. mesti ada si kecil comel yg semangat nak munculkan dri dia sokmo di muka langit malam untuk awak."

semuanya Dia dah atur cantik cantik untuk awak. believe it. ^^

give. yes.. You give too much. macam tak layak je nak dapat suma ni..

until sometimes.. i'm scared.

because, one day.. i know You will take it back.

i scared You take too much, in which i cant handle it.

.

.

.

.

.

scared. im still scared.

·       "The creation is like a knife. If you put it in your heart, it cuts. The deeper you put it, the deeper, and more it cuts. You must hold it in your hand. But even in your hand, you have to hold it in the right way. If you hold it from the sharp end, it will cut your hand. And the harder, and longer you hold on, when holding it wrong, the more and deeper it will cut your hand. The solution is to let go. Then hold it again, but this time from the handle."
-Yasmin Mogahed (if i'm not mistaken..huhu)

"This life is going to look, sound and feel, very, very real. At times it's going to scare us. At times it's going to make us cry. At times it's going to make us flee to illusions for shelter. But this life and everything in it is only a test. And just like the test of the emergency broadcast system, it is simply meant to see how we respond and to train us for the part that is real. This life is a training for the Real life beyond it."

·          "People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Be good anyway. Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People need help but will attack you if you help them. Help them anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."

·          "As soon as you realize that the cure is sometimes painful, you will begin to see everything that has ever hurt you as just the needle administering the vaccine."

This is exactly why we should never judge by appearance,
sometimes the little, God gives you, is very deep :)